Mother’s Day used to be simple. It used to be flowers and cards. It used to be whatever small gift I’d picked out for her. It used to be her laugh that warm, familiar sound that made the whole day feel right.
Now it’s something else entirely.
Mother’s Day is now a day I brace myself for. A day that arrives heavy, even before I open my eyes. It’s strange how grief can make a date on the calendar feel like a storm rolling in. I feel it in my chest, especially when I’m alone. But the world moves on while I’m still trying to remember how to breathe without her.
Mother’s Day used to be a Celebration
Everyone talks about Mother’s Day like it’s a celebration, for many people, it is. But for those of us who have lost our mothers, it’s a reminder of absence, of longing, of love that no longer has a place to land. I still catch myself wanting to her tell things only the two us would care about then remember she isn’t here physically to tell her. I still imagine what she’d say if she could see the direction my life is going. My new purpose in life that is dedicated to her and her memory. I still hear her voice in my mind, giving encouragement, offering advice, or comfort, or one of those gentle scoldings she delivered with more love than judgment. Grief is funny like that, it steals, but it also leaves echoes of what used to be.
Grief feels differenteach Day
Sometimes the grief feels sharp. Other times it’s softer, like a bruise that never fully fades. But it’s always there. I’ve learned that grief isn’t something you “get over.” It’s something to carry. Some days I carry it with strength. Other days, it carries me. On days like this, I let myself feel it fully, the ache, the love, the memories that come rushing back like a tide I can’t stop.
The ways my Mother is Missed
I miss her, I miss her in ways that words can’t quite hold. I miss the version of myself that existed when she was still here. I miss the safety of knowing she was right there. I miss the way she made me feel supported. But I also feel grateful. Grateful that I had a mother worth grieving. Grateful for the love she poured into me, the lessons she left behind, the pieces of her that still show up in the way I speak, the way I love, the way I live my life.
Today I Honor her by Remembering
On Mother’s Day, I honor her by remembering. By letting myself cry if I need to. By smiling at the memories that still feel warm. By acknowledging that grief is just love with nowhere to go and I have a lot of love for her.If you’re grieving your mother today, I hope you give yourself permission to feel whatever rises up. There’s no right way to navigate a day like this. There’s only your way and that’s enough. Mother’s Day will never be the same for me. But neither will the love she gave me. That part stays and that part endures. In that I find a little bit of peace.
The grieving caregiver 